I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
