Me too!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
