If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
