I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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