Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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