So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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