Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
