You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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