dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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