What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
