he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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