guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
