dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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