is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
