So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
