i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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