Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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