Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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