hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
