my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
