The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
