Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
