I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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