..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
