I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
