So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
