i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
