is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
