Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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