Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
