oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
