At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
