So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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