can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize