yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't trust your balls anymore.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Never joke about your clitoris.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
