In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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