then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
