You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
