I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
