Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
