Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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