I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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