I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
