I just made out with a guy for $7.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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