OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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