Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
