I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
