Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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