between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
