i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
