She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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