Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
