apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
