You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
