is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What a dumb baby whore.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
