Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
