I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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