you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
