the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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