So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
