Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
