Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
