Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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