He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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