i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
