I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
