Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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